6 Tenets On The Lost Art Of Active Listening

Photo by Antenna on Unsplash

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Stephen Covey could not be any more precise when he made the above statement. We have lost the art of active listening, which is a powerful, powerful skill to hone.

Scheming what to reply while listening to your counterpart is not ACTIVE LISTENING; in fact, it is nowhere close.

So what is Active Listening? What do we need to do during this process?

There are 6 key tenets to be used in this process:

1. Effective Pausing

Timed silence is critical in any conversation. It encourages your counterpart to keep talking and to share their Point Of View (POV).

2. Minimal Encouragers

Simple phrases like “Okay/Uh-Huh/Yes” show that you are actively listening and paying attention to what your counterpart is saying.

3. Mirroring

Repeat back the last 3 or critical words uttered by your counterpart. This again shows that you have paid attention to every word conveyed in the conversation.

4. Labeling

Give a name to your counterpart’s situation. Label their mood to show that you are also paying attention to your counterpart. Always ensure that you make it about your counterpart and not about what you feel about their feelings when labeling.

5. Paraphrase

Repeat the concerns or key points raised by your counterpart in your own words. This shows you understand their POV and not parroting what they said.

6. Summary

An effective summary is a combination of PARAPHRASE + LABELING.

If all these areas can be covered in business meetings and conversations with your loved ones; you will see yourself turn into an ACTIVE LISTENER!